jenny jen jen

Last week marked two years since I moved back to the U.S. from Uppsala, Sweden. I climbed on a plane on 20 June 2007 to go to Dublin for two days before flying into Chicago for a week with the family, ultimately landing back in Denver, CO on 29 June 2007.

I think about life in Sweden almost daily. If I had the opportunity — that is, the visa for a job and a job that can pay my bills — then I’d probably be back there in an instant. After all, part of the reason I pretty much abandoned my desire to go to law school was because I could see myself living in Sweden again, and law school (and paying for law school) takes the kind of time and effort that would keep me from being able to return anytime soon.

Once in a while, I dream about life in Uppsala. I have one particular recurring dream that I happen to enjoy: I’m in Storatorget in Uppsala, walking through the Åhléns, telling myself that I can will myself to step out of my dream and onto the streets in an instant, just for a quick visit. I wind my way through the shops and the streets and find myself unable to will myself there, knowing that my time is limited and I’ve only got hours or even minutes before I wake up in my bed back in Colorado.

I’m in no rush to go back to Sweden, not even for a visit. I wish I could say that I was, but it’s tough to afford Sweden as an American, especially with a bad economy. My current work is unreliable and I am better off paying bills and saving up some money than I am traveling back. I wish I didn’t have to restrict myself so much; it seems like a lot of people do the sensible thing by saving money and waiting for a trip, but sometimes end up never going back. I don’t want to end up like that, so I do intend to make a trip back in the next few years, even if I’m not moving back.

The things I miss the most vary quite a lot. Some of the food was great, like filmjölk (soured milk), leverpastej (liver pâté), sill (herring, particularly pickled), Lingongrova (a really good rye bread). Certain aspects of my social life there was great, but I really only knew a student’s life, so I don’t know what it would be like to live there as a professional and make friends and acquaintances that way.

Things I don’t miss… well, for one, it seems like a lot less now that I am here in the US and I have good memories of Sweden. It’s the whole “grass is always greener” and whatnot. I’m sure I would find the weather and darkness to be a drag, and even though I speak Swedish, sometimes I really missed my first language a whole lot. I think that will happen to any ex-pat, anywhere.

For now I’ll have to be content with the surreal dreams and great memories of my time there. Is it completely satisfying? No. Will I be missing out on a lot by having to wait to go back? Probably, but that’s a matter of perspective at some degree. But will I actually return, whether it’s a full move or just a visit? Yes. And I’m counting on it.

When I first saw trailers of Up in the theaters, I knew right away that Pixar would have a hit. What I didn’t realize is that the film would be more of a tear-jerker than a comedy fest; Up seemed much more in-tune to the heartstrings than the funny bone, drawing more subtle humor than outright laughs in a story that deals with some of life’s more heart-wrenching situations.

Carl Fredricksen (voiced by Ed Asner) is an elderly man whose life had been filled with dreams of adventure alongside his childhood sweetheart Ellie. When Ellie passes away and their biggest dream – living atop Paradise Falls – is never realized, Carl is left clinging to the house he shared with Ellie as it quickly becomes surrounded by large urban developments.

Carl soon feels like everybody is pestering him, including a young Wilderness Scout named Russell (voiced by Jordan Nagai) who is seeking his “Assisting the Elderly” merit badge. When Carl is faced with a court order to leave his home for a retirement community, he decides to fill thousands of balloons with helium and escape to Paradise Falls  — taking his house, and incidentally Russell, with him.

Carl and Russell soon embark on an exciting, and sometimes scary, adventure as they encounter a talking dog named Dug, a rare bird they dub “Kevin,” and the once-great explorer Charles Muntz (voiced by Christopher Plummer), who is still searching for the species that single-handedly ruined his career.

Prior to seeing the film, it had not crossed my mind that the back story would be the real gem of the movie, despite somewhat obvious signs: an older, grumpy man as the protagonist (he has a whole life story to tell!) and an unlikely sidekick in an awkward, young boy seeking out his final merit badge (where are his parents?). The two seemed to be an odd pairing at first, but they would later complement one another as their journey took them from Carl’s over-developed neighborhood to the vast jungles of South America. “It’s just like America,” chirps Russell, “Only south!”

It’s no secret that Pixar is an industry leader in animation, and their large team (as honored in the lengthy credits) solidified its position as a leader not only with this feature, but also with the customary short film shown before the feature. “Partly Cloudy,” an amusing short portraying the weary relationship between a storm cloud that creates dangerous packages and his dedicated delivery stork, is heartwarming and funny — but it also displays the incredible talent of Pixar’s animators, giving clouds more dimension (literally and figuratively) than ever before.

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I decided to instead summarize my posts from SW:

• Huge thanks to Illegal Pete’s!
• Can SW be applied in the community?
• SpotGrab: Grabbing your attention
• Livestream for SW Boulder 3
• Making CL easier to use with CraigsWishList
• Ron Bronson on community and ideas

I ended up being the only blogger, but it was fun! I was unable to cover all of the projects, but hopefully there will be updates from some of them in the future.

I’m blogging from Startup Weekend Boulder 3, but cross-posting on my own site.

One of the most important things one can learn from building a startup is that having a good idea, but it’s not enough. Other people might’ve already done something with your good idea — and if you can’t do it any better, you might want to move on to the next idea.

That’s what we figured out in the group dedicated to solving our language problem. Although it’s true that we had a good idea — basically, matching people to other foreign language learners at their level and providing a web space to video chat and connect on forums — we have discovered that the service is available elsewhere, and we didn’t think that we could compete.

We’re now developing another idea, and here’s what we’ve come up with so far:

• Creating a database of information that can be easily accessed when you lose your credit/debit cards and need to cancel them
• Making reservations at restaurants via Twitter
• Gathering a database of clothing sizes over different brands so that one can more easily order clothing online (i.e., if I’m an 8 in Banana Republic, what size am I in other brands?)

I’m sitting here in the Leeds School of Business amongst a sea of people with various kinds of educational backgrounds, talents, and interests who are all here to build a startup from concept to launch before the end of the weekend. It’s called Startup Weekend, and Boulder is where it all began; it’s currently hosting its third Startup Weekend, but there have been over 50 of its kind worldwide (and there are six going on this weekend alone!).

I’ve learned a lot about Startup Weekend, despite this being my first time doing it; Andrew Hyde, my first Boulder tech connection, founded it a few years ago and has seen it take off since then. It’s great to have it back in Boulder, and I am thrilled that I finally have a chance to partake in this opportunity.

Last night, roughly 50 participants met each other, socialized over pizza and soda, and began to pitch any ideas — or rather, come up with any problems that can be solved. Although most people decided to pass on coming up with a problem, we did come up with this rough list of problems:

1. Learning languages. One can learn a language, but keeping those skills can be difficult. How can we connect people at the same levels of learning to help keep those skills?
2. Scheduling efficiency. Scheduling is always a difficulty. How can we create a better tool for scheduling, for instance, at a salon?
3. Apartment hunting. Finding apartments is a hassle. How can we bring together all the best sources for apartment hunting?
4. Accessing healthcare information. Everyone knows that healthcare has some issues here in the U.S. How can we assist first responders in getting information quicker?
5. Media sharing. Some institutions and businesses have the need to use a program with the same functionality of media sharing sites (e.g. Flickr, Vimeo, YouTube), but don’t want the registration, the large user base, or rather, the “social” aspect. How can we create an internal media sharing site to fulfill these needs?

So far, each and every idea has pulled in a lot of interest, and most everyone has found something they really want to work on. We’ll be updating at http://startupweekend.com/boulder3 and I will be posting my blogposts here as well.

Ignite Boulder has become one of the most entertaining and popular tech events here in town. But it’s no longer the big tech-scene secret it was the first few times around; I actually heard people talking about it on Pearl Street the night before (”See you tomorrow! Goin’ to Ignite?” Hells yeah!”).

After attending Ignite Boulder 2 and Ignite Boulder 3, I had submitted a topic that was accepted for  presentation: “Confessions of a NiteRide Driver” (name altered just slightly to protect the  innocent). By the end of the voting, I’d made it to 3rd place. All this talk about wanting to present and thinking I could present would finally be challenged — could I present in front of almost two hundred people?

On top of that, it ended up being far more than two hundred people. Despite the inability to bring beer into the venue, organizer Andrew Hyde decided that a large venue where we could include more people was more important than being able to have beer. Instead, we had a pre-party at The b.side Lounge and secured some sweet deals for sushi afterwards, and held Ignite at the 475 (more or less)-capacity Chem 140 lecture hall on the CU campus. Suddenly it really became a test of my nerves.

You see, I’m not really a public speaker. I get pretty nervous in front of that many people. I’m much better at interacting with people in small groups or separately. I rush a lot in front of too many people (as it started out when I presented at Ignite).

Before the presentation, I took some hints from my friend Ben, who had himself presented in the previous Ignite. He advised me to practice with a stopwatch, allow time for laughter, and follow a script. I kept to those guidelines for the most part; I decided to work on a script from an open-ended viewpoint, that is, to have a general list of things to say but figure out the best way to fit it into five minutes by using a script. I went over my script a few times, at least hitting some of the most important parts, but not adhering to it perfectly — my goal was to just know the material well enough to spout it off without hesitation.

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So the countdown begins: one month. Oh gosh.

One month until I graduate. Or at least I’m supposed to. Sometimes I don’t know if I should be optimistic and truly believe I will, or be realistic and expect something remotely cataclysmic to come along and destroy this opportunity for me to finally get out of school. I’m leaning towards optimism, however.

My to-do list looks a bit like this:

• One 5-page paper every week for the next month
• One 10-15 page paper before April 22nd
• One 10-15 page paper before April 29th
• 10-15 pages of a 20-25-page paper before April 29th

I’ve also got to make sure I’ve read just about everything for class and that I can ace the finals (just so there is no chance of failing the entire class). That includes prepping for one of my exams with pre-selected essay questions (and thankfully I’m averaging a 90 in this class), but I think I will do just fine in that class.

This comes out to somewhere around 50 to 65 pages in the next month, not including the exams themselves.

I can do it, right? What is that, 15 pages, more or less, a week?

I think I can do it. In fact, I know I can do it. I’m going to be optimistic this time. If I keep to this schedule, then one paper and some studying is all I’ll have to do after the 29th, and that ‘ll be a relief.

I honestly can’t believe I’ve made it this far. This month, more than many of the other crunchtimes and agonizing, month-long, panic-inducing stretches I’ve experienced in the last six years (this’ll be #10, not including week-long study sessions for a different format of classes in Sweden).

If you think all of this stress caused by school alone is a lot, don’t forget that I’ve also got to worry about employment; I’ve also got to find myself a source of income and a good start to my career. That’s a whole ‘nutha story, and an entirely different train of thought right now (that deserves a blog post on its own!).

All right, another new series for you all — except this one might not have a limit (like the series about where I work does). I guess that makes the “Where I Work” series a mini-series, and this — just a series? Anyways…

I have a running list of things that I really think people should read, see, or hear, and I always mean to post about some of the latest ones on my blog, but I often don’t get around to it. So here you go, for your Monday morning, some things that I think you must read, see, or hear:

MUST READ

• “The International Traveler” by John Common. John, a fabulous musician and friend of mine, wrote a really cute, funny piece about how to have fun in your own hometown as an “international traveler.” Check it out!
• “What We Haven’t Learned from the Potato Famine,” a blog post at The Reluctant Eater, a local blog. The history nerd in me liked this, mostly because I’ve studied Irish history, but I also like the take this blog has regarding food issues that most of us probably don’t think about every day. I highly recommend following this blog!
• The brand-spankin’ new InDenverTimes.com, somewhat of a replacement for the now-closed Rocky Mountain News. I could go on and on about what the loss of the Rocky means to Colorado, but I’m not going to — just go read a short post I wrote about the closing of the RMN and visit the website that now strives to become an important source of news for the Denver metro area.
• Helvetica Alternatives. Design geek material but very, very cool. I’d have to say that I like Frutiger Light the best.

MUST SEE

• My Own Corner: Daddy Bruce’s BBQ. Bruce Randolph, Jr., or “Daddy Bruce,” is a legend here in Boulder. I’ve been lucky enough to learn some piano scales from Daddy Bruce, and his little BBQ shack is just down the street from where I live. I hate to think that sometimes I forget to stop by once in a while even though he’s nearby, so I’m going to make it a point to go more often.
• Photos by Rande Kamolz. Rande, my favorite source for new music and one of my partners in crime, takes some really rockin’ photos. Recently, he snapped some neat shots from our night in Denver for the Bishop Allen show. He hasn’t been posting as much lately, probably because he’s busy like all of us, but I always enjoy when he does.
• The Tauntaun sleeping bag. Um, HOW COOL! The geek in me really likes this. The only thing that would be better would probably be a life-size, talking Ewok (did you know that some of what the Ewoks say in Ep. VI is Tagalog? They’re saying, “There, is it a tree? Beautiful!” No, seriously!).
• The trailer for Where the Wild Things Are (at a cool, newly-favorited blog called The Nerdist). This is going to be awesome. My co-workers and I discussed tonight how we think it might be fun to go see it slightly trashed and as a big, rowdy group. It might just happen!

MUST HEAR

• Reckoner/Lockdown Mashup by DJ Earworm. I absolutely love this mashup of “Reckoner” by Radiohead and “Love Lockdown” by Kanye West. I actually, in a weird way, kind of like Kanye’s newest album, 808s and Heartbreak, but this mashup is better than the original “Love Lockdown.”
• Lily Allen’s new album, It’s Not Me, It’s You. I’ll be seeing Lily Allen perform this week at the Odgen Theater in Denver, and I am oh-so-excited! She’s a favorite and I can’t wait to hear her live. I really hope she doesn’t disappoint, but it’s hard for me not to have high expectations of her. Thursday is going to be a fun and interesting night for a lot of reasons, but however it turns out, I hope I’ll be making some great new concert memories.

This might be something fun to do weekly. We’ll see. I can be lazy about things like this, but I’m trying to write more and more often (really in hopes that my efforts will bleed on over to the schoolwork and freelance stuff I should be doing instead of merely blogging). Hope you enjoy some of my picks this week, and I look forward to writing another post like it!

Lately I’ve been thinking about leaving.

Tonight was especially bad. I had a big blowup with the waiter boy (I thought this was over a while ago?!!), and to top it all off, I’m so stressed about money that I nursed a nosebleed for a good hour before I could go swing dancing. I really didn’t need that kind of stress tonight, and like I tend to do during times like this, I started to think about what it would be like to get out of here.

It’s funny that once I think I’ve actually gotten used to things here in Boulder, spats with (ex)boyfriends and money issues and overall happiness issues start popping up, giving rise to yet another of the many plots I’ve created that involve moving away.

There are plenty of reasons I should leave Boulder. Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong. Other times I just think it would be easier to find a job elsewhere. And even more miserably, dating doesn’t come easy in this town. (Ironically, two ex-boyfriends — whom I unfortunately see all over the place in this little berg — actually live in Denver now, but they work up here enough to run into me all the time.)

Sometimes, as I’m falling asleep, I have this incredible fantasy that being the new girl somewhere would bring all these great new things to me, like a decent guy or a new place to hang out with new people, and maybe I’d be happier. I’ll wake up the next day and realize that it’s kind of a naïve hope.

I have great friends here. I have people I care about and people who care about me. But something is missing, and I’m not quite sure what it is; the closest I’ve gotten to knowing is thinking that maybe I will have a better chance at everything elsewhere, and that I don’t get my fair chance here. But that might be giving myself too much credit. Jeez, I don’t know. Maybe I do just need to get out of here.

It would be a good time to get out; I need to find a job, and I need to pay my student loans. It might be easier to move for a job than have to wait for one. But I’m not sure I’d be able to get out so soon. The lease at this house runs out in August, but honestly — my heart belongs in this town. In this neighborhood. I can’t seem to believe that maybe I’m lying to myself about it.

Or maybe I’m just getting anxious because I am graduating soon and there are a lot of decisions to make. Even though I know just the things that would make me happy — you see, I set my heart on things and it’s tough to let go when those things don’t happen — I don’t see those things as happening. I don’t see that one person back in my life, I don’t see my name on that one desk in that one office, and I don’t see being able to live in that one place in that one neighborhood. This process of graduating and moving into a new stage of life is going to take the kind of flexibility and tolerance for a lack of stability that I have never before faced, but it’s going to have to happen at some point.

I’m hoping that Boulder will still be the place for me a few weeks into May. But I know that, up until then, I’ll get that pang to get out of here. For now, I might just have to ignore it. And maybe it’ll fade away by then.

I’ve been told that there are two topics gentlemen should not discuss: politics and sports.

Well, I’m obviously not a gentleman, and sometimes I’m a little too brash to be called a ‘lady’, but I can definitely tackle politics and sports at the same time. It’ll be easy this time because there is one clear winner the last few days: the city of Chicago.

pic via blacksportsonline.com

You could really say that all of Illinois won. But I don’t know, being a semi-Chicagoan — spending quite a lot of my time out there with my mom’s family — I am kind of a jerk and don’t think of an entire state existing outside of Chicagoland. It’s one thing that the suburbs are separate from the city, but the difference between the rest of Illinois and Chicagoland is far bigger. Therefore I am demonstrating my bias by declaring Chicago the winner here.

Why did Chicago win? And just what is it they won? Yesterday, Chicago witnessed two big developments in sports and politics: first, the Broncos happily traded quarterback Jay Cutler to da Bears (why are we so blessed?!) for the miserable Kyle Orton (but two first-round draft picks and a few fourth-rounders, I think), and Rod Blagojevich — the state-wide embarrassment of a former governor — received just what he deserves: an indictment for various federal charges boiling down to corruption.

As for the trade, Chicago seems pretty happy. Why not? It’s pretty obvious that, even though Jay is a big crybaby, we lost a really good quarterback. By obtaining Kyle Orton, we lost a ton of leverage. We’d better pray for a really good draft choice or two; if Josh McDaniels throws this one away, his first season with the Broncos will be extremely tainted, and it could even be his last (but it’s a little early to tackle that one). Denver lost a good one to Chicago; we were pretty much set with a great offense and Jay’s Amazing Arm, but this melodramatic battle between our young, inexperienced coach and his young, immature quarterback was handled incredibly poorly, arguably at the fault of Broncos owner Pat Bowlen, and now Denver football fans have an uncertain season in the coming year. This is assuming that McDaniels & Co. get nothing out of the draft picks. Even if we do get some good picks, it’ll be a few years before Denver even starts to bring back the kind of offensive potential that was possible pre-McJaygate.

Although a lot of people seem to believe that getting rid of a crybaby like Cutler is a way of showing power, and that it’s like getting rid of a cancer, I almost feel that it was more a sign of weakness than it was strength. Cutler complained far too much and the drama continued, during the offseason, for something like a month before McDaniels gave in and traded him. That’s what he did, folks — McDaniels gave in. He didn’t exert his power. He gave Jay just what he wanted (or at least what he said he wanted in the first place, then backtracked on soon thereafter). Had we traded Jay to some horrendous team without a chance (I’m optimistic for the Bears, okay?) and stripped him of any dignity whatsoever, maybe the Broncos would’ve won the battle of egos right then and there. However, that didn’t happen, and McDaniels likely lost a lot of respect out of his players. Let’s just pretend that McDaniels knew that Jay didn’t want to be traded and just played along with all the media hoopla. Doesn’t that make the trade seem like a really extreme move? Couldn’t McDaniels have just held strong and used his supposed coaching skills to combat this problem? In my opinion, all McDaniels really did was demonstrate how easy he can be manipulated. This whiny attitude on behalf of Jay Cutler was not that big of a deal in the first place, and the media really took off and ran with it. McDaniels let the media circus overwhelm him.

picture by AP via Politico

In the political arena, Chicago is looking at vindication now that corrupt ex-governor Blagojevich may actually be facing jailtime for his corrupt practices. Sixteen counts of felony charges, oh my! Yes, I know what you’re wondering: since when has there been a clean Illinois governor? Right, good answer, because I don’t know, either. Perhaps Illinois deserves a break — and this would definitely be a break — but considering the fact that Blago has been a heck of a burden on the always-ailing political system of Chicago, just the fact that there are charges is a step forward.

With that said, although I’m glad that Chicago is rid of Rod’s horrible haircut, I don’t think they’ll really be rid of Blago for a while. He’s going to be all over the news, getting loads of the attention he has always craved. But at least he’ll be taking the well-deserved abuse from a brutal public; Chicago is a city that is just as harsh in criticizing its politicians as the politicians are with backstabbing one another. Furthermore, Chicago has Barack Obama for bragging purposes — who really cares about Blago when Chicago’s prodigal son is our current president?

And on an even more shallow note, I think Kyle Orton is, um, well — to say the least — far less attractive than Jay Cutler. (What, did you guys expect a completely serious post about politics and sports from me?!) Yes, his boyish looks and his dimpled chin were absolutely adorable atop his Broncos orange-and-blues. If trading Jay really was the best decision, and I could somehow weigh-in and get a compromise, I would’ve been much happier with Brady Quinn. Now that’s eye candy. First the Rockies with Matt Holliday, then a highly decreased likelyhood of seeing Peter Forsberg in an Avs jersey ever again, and now Jay Cutler? Do Denver’s sports teams want to lose their female audience forever?!!

So there you have it. Denver will be missing its franchise quarterback while Chicago gains The Arm Better than Elway’s, and hopefully nobody besides a federal prison will have to put up with having Rod Blagojevich around. This is to you, Chicago — you won out this time, but don’t expect to get this lucky again!